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Seeing Past Looking…

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  I love that my husband Les is not daunted by a wife who asks for $10.00 while yard sailing (because she always forgets her purse on Saturdays) and then smiles knowingly when I come back with something that most likely won’t fit in our vehicle that moment,  yet expects it to. I love that when I sit for dinner in our home, or lounge with our family that love is made visible throughout my home by the items Les has loved back to life…including me.

It matters.

The gift of shared vision is not one that came naturally to Les. I suspect ten years ago he had never refinished anything in his life. His idea of fixing something involved a purchase and a receipt. His love for my vision to do and have for others awakened in him a joy in making things happen as I have…and what a joy ride its been to see it in our home, as well as in peoples’ lives.

Chairs that are purchased for $2.50 each may not have any value to you. Sometimes the folks you pass by on the daily journey don’t either…they, like my chairs, may be so covered in grime, scars, and dirt that you simply don’t see the beauty they are….the unique creation they exist as.  It’s not always about refinishing either…often its simply about encouraging them to share their story…which unfolds in such a way you are no longer captured by their trappings but by their heart, experience and story.

What are you seeing where you are today? What is the vision you use? Is it purpose driven? Do Driven? Or are you open to allow that which is there show up in your picture in a more meaningful way.  Each moment we exist there is so much lost in our own directed living…perhaps that is the joy I love about Saturday morning yard sailing with Les…its unpredictable…its unordered…you cannot predict what God will drop into your world that day…whether its the heart that needs to be heard as they empty mom or dad’s home…or the struggle of a young couple trying to “do better” for their children and selves as they fight for their familyhood…

What do you allow in your life?

Who do you allow in your heart?

The memories are touchable in my home….as a visual tactile learner that isn’t surprising…but I know things are simply with me until someone else needs them more, then they, like they came, are hauled away often in a too small car to a new home to be loved by someone else’s family….and I walk back to the door with a smile on my heart and know that soon I’ll ask Les if I can borrow his wallet again…

and He smiles…and knows we’re starting all over again…

I love this man named Les and how he’s taught me to love past what I can initially see…

 

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The Best Christmas Joy pt2

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Part 2 of Where’s the Coffee…

Click here to read part 1 First

The last two years I have witnessed the joy of work by Deborah Mersino (@DeborahMersino),  Allan Branch and Steven Bristol (@LessEverything), the founder of the leadership group #LeadfromWithin, the amazing Lolly Daskal (@LollyDaskal),  Steven W Anderson, @web20classroom, @MamaBritt, and the ever kind @David_Carpenter and so many many others who as Creatives or Leaders hear daily “how do I keep up with it all, how do I keep first things first?”They live transparently seeking tools and sharing lessons as they go.   I have watched their efforts, interacted with their chats and I know that this methodology of thinking through and acting on life in 7 minute increments is powerful stuff.  Busy people are busy people whether workers, leaders, parents or children yet to have the level of engagement we seek in life, priorities MUST be decided upon. It won’t matter if its my traumatic brain injured clients, the parents of autistic children and adults, the entrepreneurs, or the instructional leadership teams for leadership. This book will matter. This book does matter, This book has mattered already in my family’s life.  It systematically takes you through dialogues to more pragmatically support the evidences of “Why’s” in your core values. It takes a purpose driven concept through the bases to a home run on values driven engagement in life home run.

Does your daily life set up a plan each day to align your values to the blueprints for your goals that day? Owning my life and making it mine has meant for me that yes, Margaret, values matter in my daily existence and need to show up as using the gifts I was given for others daily in my life.  You see, that country girl, raised not 70 miles from my own rural home, has captured it….the essence…of why and how folks can fuel their desire to live a passionate purpose life based on their values driven blueprint. I cannot imagine a better gift for our marriage, my children’s lives, and the young people’s world I am often engaged in. That is why you see me tweeting so much about #Just7, for truly in just 7 minutes at a time I have had the following results the last 24 days after reading this book:

  • I have lost 24 lbs because I have given myself permission to simply BE who I am built to be….a Creative who LOVES to see Art alive in people’s lives as I cultivate projects to empower people. It is as Eric Liddell said “I feel God’s pleasure” when I create strategy blueprints for speakers and projects that allow them to fly and improve people’s lives.
  • The artistic side of my heart has been set free after many years of trying to assimilate into a more analytic world of  non-creatives who only seek profit financially not profiting people’s life existence.
  • My children have noticed (now they are teens and adults…let’s all stop and think on that miracle) and spoke of the joy they are seeing in my life
  • My husband Les has simply said I smile more and more often…which is hard to believe, for I am a happy person in general
  • Laughter has returned to our marriage and home…I have traditionally been the reserved one, trying to conform and work in a systematic method of analytical conformity when I am the girl who would splash the mud puddle on purpose and make mosaics out of the splashes naturally
  • Connected to two new friends whom I was a bit intimidated to engage, but have in three weeks understood they were a God gift waiting on ME.
  • Les and I have completely re-charted the next ten years of our life based on shared renewed purpose of our Basics Matter and A Joyful Place Called Home experiences
  • The dogs (we have 5) want to know what is up with Mom wanting to walk at 4:00 instead of 9, because everything is on track to get 5 done before 11 am and then play the rest of the day.
  • Professionally, I have released some toxic connections that simply needed to be with someone who would “get” their methodology of business, but as for our home, if its not cultivating projects to empower people, we simply do.not.work together. Money comes with doing things well, but nothing is worth the price of working with greedy or folks not living in integrity with their intended business results.
  • We, as a family have simply been more joyful, and joyful in a blended family at the holidays, is a GREAT way to be.

So in short, I never did get that cup of coffee…but what that fellow Arkansan served that day, was a life changing experience…and for that I am thankful…

and I hope you’ll join me in welcoming the rollout of what I believe will be a life work progress as Seven Minutes, Inc fully launches their apps, supportive materials created specifically for individuals and the interactive tools.  The book is available for pre-order now and launches Tuesday, December 27th….and it will SO be worth the read. (and on the 27the you may stream/comment/follow us on @The7MinuteLife and comment on The7MinuteLife.com wall or on Amazon and let us know by commenting on the post at www.the7minutelife.com/launch and they’ll enter you in a drawing to win one of two Nook’s for the after Christmas fun!

So this Christmas Eve…I want to share with you what has been so meaningful to me…with as always…no strings attached…but please, if it speaks to you, do sign up for the free member tools at www.the7minutelife.com and get going on the planner now…it’s free to download with a bunch of other tools I know you’ll find of value.

Merry Christmas!

Sweetie

 

 

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What Happened to the Coffee? pt1

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My very dear friend, Melinda Emerson (@SmallBizLady) called and said I’ve open tweeted you someone I want you to meet, I think you’ll find her to be fun and someone you’ll want to have coffee with, you’re both from Arkansas.  Well, as any true Arkansan would tell you, hoghood is thicker than water.  That would be like saying your long lost sister has been found, of COURSE I would want to be introduced.  We tweeted immediately. Twitter IS the new front porch, faster than even the party line of old! More tweets were shared and a call scheduled.  I’m thinking great Skype chat over cocoa or coffee. Little did I know that call would change my life.

Some things we are simply not prepared for. We do our daily grinds, we work on being the best we know how to be, we take our lumps and try to learn from then. Sometimes in an instant life changes. My family lost my nephew after a congenital heart condition ended his life at school one day.  Life changed.  I married Les and added two children to my life in a way I could have never predicted. A joyful change, but adding a five year old, eight year old, eleven year old and seventeen year old to one new marriage….life changed.  Once upon a time in Fayetteville Arkansas a silly Honda civic did not have a lights on indicator leaving me stranded and asking a perfect stranger to hold my precious tiny babe so I could get help (her car was air conditioned, the outside air was 101. This was before cell phones. There is a 15 year old story now that bears telling, but that’s for another day….

The coffee date was planned for a phone conversation, but I was unprepared to know what was being served would forever change me. That Arkansas girl was author Allyson Lewis, whom I had never heard of. (authors kinda come my way a couple of dozen at a time some weeks…) and she wanted me to read her book that would be launching December 27th.  Alrighty, but I thought we were going to have coffee. (sounded very fun, grown up even, and after all she’s from HOME…Arkansas)  The book came via email that evening, I am an avid reader. By morning I had been through it twice and was now in  operation evaluation mode. I.could.not.put.it.down. You see I’m into learning to learn, and as a strategist with an educator’s background, this book was talking about memory, learning, living your values, priorities and something called the M O R E life.  The woman had it going on, and now it was me who wanted to have coffee with her.  The conversations continued and it seemed that my friend had been completely on target. I would love this woman.  I don’t know about you, but at forty-seven there are very few things I jump head first into and that particularly qualifies where turning strangers into friends occurs.  By 24 hours after reading this book the conversations were more about rapid fire excitement on both sides of the line than leisurely coffee chat.

You see, the book has a workbook that is so very the way I think that within 3 days of beginning its free downloads at The7MinuteLIfe.com , which are predated and ready to use from Member tools even before I had a hard copy of the book, was so closely arranged to the way I think, that I was lost without it by day 5.  The more exciting thing was that my… shall we say…. analytically driven husband Les (@morefromles) evaluated the planner and loved it as well, though he said it lacked the notating the hunting dates and a place to have me mark off laundry. (he would mention that again…it’s an old story, a standard Sweetie truth, I think clean socks come from WalMart or JC Penney, the washer just seems to eat them)

The next 24 days were filled with little sleep, much joy, and a serious oversight of coffee being made at our home. I have become the Excited Evangelist for The 7 Minute Solution because I so know that it will change lives.  In a world that never stops 24/7 , a community that is hungry for a MORE life….that is:

  • MORE passion
  • MORE joy
  • MORE meaning
  • MORE rest
  • MORE laughter
  • MORE responsibility
  • MORE time on things we love
  • MORE organization
  • MORE travel
  • MORE financial adeptness

I knew that the three principles: prioritize, organize, and simplify would in a word work to allow individuals to get back to the business of supporting their lives. I loved the visual simplicity, the online support systems and I knew that this.would.be.powerful in the lives of many. My life took on a new purpose in a heartbeat…to get this book into hands of those who could be use it, and in my opinion, that’s every.single.person.

Caffeine slows me down. An original wild child, everything seems to be backwards in my wiring. Those who know me well know that I can talk 180 mpg when I am truly excited or have “caught the vision” of a strategy that will work for learners and those seeking to help learners learn.   I have endless energy most of the time, a trait I share with two older brothers. We simply run like energizer bunnies. Technology available 24/7 has increased our ability to get to information and to use it but there was definitely MORE needed yet I find great joy in taking time my calligraphy, hand creating dinners, spending time with activities I am passionate about….and yet  permission for me to do that full time would have not been even considered before this book….or the reasons why it mattered explored past “well I just love doing it”  I hadn’t given myself permission to live as a Creative full out “Game On” with the analytical/tactical skills as the backup support in my business…this book project has changed that…and in 24 days the world of Sweetie changed forever.  I gave myself permission to be who I am and it.is.breathtakingly different to bloom this thing called my life..

and Allyson Lewis…you better not simply plan to meet me for coffee, you best plan to sit down and share the whole pot girl, I’ve got about a zillion things to share about how thankful I am for you and this book.  My “why and how” have been identified and now its simply about doing it! See you at the launch! (National Launch, Tuesday the 27th of December and debuting on #SmallBizChat on January 4th!)

#TrueStory

#Les is exhausted (be thankful it is not you! :)

#I.am.thankful

#Just7

Have a Merry Christmas!

Sweetie

Follow @Allyson7Minutes on Twitter and the SevenMinutes, inc team at @The7Minutelife

Join their FB wall and tell them Sweetie sent you!  http://www.facebook.com/the7minutelife

Download the member tools here which will include the Daily Progress Report Planner template and many tools to share

Be prepared to have life as you know it change.

P.S. Allyson and the SevenMinutes, inc Team…..you have been the most welcome surprise of Christmas this year!

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Sharing Soft…

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When my children were very young we faced weekend visitations that involved exchanging the children to their other parent three hours on the road each way.  It was hard on little guys to leave school or daycare then be on the road for six hours, change adults in charge for 72 hour then return on the road again for six hours.  It was hard on the Momma too, who was exhausted from working outside the home then driving six hours 2x a weekend at a time when staying somewhere for the whole weekend while I waited was out of the question, there wasn’t such a place to stay in the rural area.  My then three year old daughter when asked what she needed this week enroute home answered ” I need you to share soft this week”  I asked what she meant and her response was “it’s hard to remember whose rules are whose, can you share soft with me while I figger them out”  I heard her sweet little voice saying  “this is really hard and I need you to love me through it”..I could so relate. We were facing really difficult times and I heard her very honest and wise request that Mom pay attention to her heart needs.

Yesterday, three days after returning from Thanksgiving I had three clients share that their children were “acting out” this week. Not big ticket act outs, but not their usual sweet selves. I heard domino effect experiences as home was hurried how the children’s day continued the difficult starts. You see, when our children leave home upset or angry, it has a trickle down effect on their day at school and with peers too.  I had to wonder, at my advanced age and several children down point of view if the children were not simply tired, stressed from the toxic turnovers of the holidays and needing their moms and dads to “share soft” too.  We come in from even staycations tired, usually stressed from the changes, and needing a day or three to slowly ease back into our routines and sleep patterns.  Children often suffer the most when we as adults don’t recognize how our own stress and lack of intentional rest spills over to their lives. Are you protecting your child or teens head and hearts?

The holidays are stressful for many reasons for children of all ages.  Whether it is figuring out how to get it all in at work and at home while baking the Martha Stewart perfect holiday foods, or simply catching up the laundry after holiday travel, or revisiting the emotional ties of Christmas and Hanukkah pasts…we all could use a little “sharing soft” this season.

What does “Sharing Soft” look like at our house?  It means intentionally keeping some rhythms in place during the holiday weeks. We eat at the same time, we work on menus that are supportive of a busy lifestyle.  We watch how many carbs are in the menu because in our home we know they translate emotional response if overloaded.  It looks like calling time outs and talking about what is important to each of us during the Christmas season and letting go that which is not important for our family. It means that we’re aware that money doesn’t buy happiness, and despite the hype what matters at holiday giving time is the giving, not the getting…though we’re thankful for that too. Sharing soft means that when mistakes are made, a soft voice and an extra breath is taken before responding because we are all under alot of expectations this season.

We all need a soft place to land in our lives.  It seems to me that home is the place I want our family to find that place where soft is shared with them.  As much as I love “orchestrating” special meals and times together, most important is our family’s head and hearts and I encourage you too to “share soft” with your family this holiday season.

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Becoming Closer…

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Do you know your spouse or children’s love language? Can you name five ways that he/she feels loved by you?  Les teases me about asking questions. Often when we’re in the car I’ll ask the children or Les “What is the #1 thing that makes you feel loved” and listen.  You’ll be amazed at what comes out of their mouths. My son in about fourth grade said “clean socks in my drawer”~ because of my absolutely horrid performance on laundry I knew the poor child had not felt loved consistently his whole life at that point.  Very few of us are encouraged to think about what does bring us pleasure, warmth or joy.  Take a moment, right now, and think, what would make today fabulous for you.  A few of you would say Disney world, or a cabin in the mountain, but a whole lot more of us would think of simply things that we can absolutely do.  Why don’t we? I used to order a certain breakfast item on the road, then realized one day “Why don’t I do this at home?” and the only reason was I’d never thought to treat me with it at home…silly… a $2 item that made my mornings go much more smoothly. We often play take away with our own lives for no apparent reason, why not give to yourself and give to those you love when you can?

When I think about what Les loves it allows me to bring comfort and support to his world.  I know that one of the things he loves best is that I am glad to see him when he arrives home. This is an easy gift, but I am simply thrilled when he comes home. I love to plan to be near the door or available to spend 10-15 minutes with him as he shares his day.  I also know that right after that he’s got things on his agenda to do for a while, so it’s a good time to finish dinner, a project, or simply go relax on my own.  Our family agrees upon one thing, family dinner is their native dialect of love language….if you want my family to show up all you have to do is mention dinner….I have to laugh, for we can be in the middle of a difficult hour when the dinner hour arrives and suddenly for that half hour the peace talks begin and cease fires are in place….oh that we could work on our government learning that feat…

 

Les knows that I don’t enjoy pumping gas any more, after an eye injury the fumes now burn when I am anywhere near them, so he keeps my CRV fueled for me when possible.  He also fuels our teens cars from time to time, because Dad giving teens gas money is rare and even more fun is when you wake up to a full tank as a love gift from dad.

Ask, listen, engage….three easy steps to truly becoming close as a couple or family.  I ask.  What do you like best when we’re home? When do you truly relax?  Where is the best place for you to have a great day? What gives you comfort when you’re at school? How could Mom support you having a great day today.  Sometimes simply the answers allow me to understand where they are coming from, sometimes they educate me as to what stresses the children or Les or facing.  Other times I learn the value of what is already in place in our lives and what that means to them.

Listen.  Depending on the day, the hour, or the mood you may get a sour answer.  You might get a sarcastic answer if they think you’re not sincere about what they want or need.  If you’re not willing to allow others to be safe in the sharing of their heart, then you’re not going to make progress in becoming closer.  Defending  your stance doesn’t work either.  Listening means just that, to listen without judgement and engage what is said before answering.  Not everyone articulates their thoughts or their feelings. Sometimes I have to ask if something is true to get to that space.  “Is it irritating to you when I _______, because I’m beginning to think so because__________” and then get quiet.  Listen and listen without defending yourself.

Relationships take effort. Engaging people where they are and loving them as they are is key.  Too often as adults we’re in the habit of goal setting, production line thinking, or getting to some place or point….but family is about simply being. It’s about celebrating the moments together and sharing the space of the good and difficult. It’s about being there for one another when things go sour.  It’s about preventing things going sour when you can by supporting each other as we grow.  As we go into the holidays we’ve asked what is important to the teens and to each other. We’ve let go of some activities that no one truly enjoyed and worked on holiday time and activities that we will all engage and enjoy.  Becoming closer doesn’t have to look like a Hallmark moment, or even take the work of a Thanksgiving dinner, it might look a lot like exactly where you are, with more awareness of why you do what you do and letting go of what doesn’t work for any of you.

Part of what works for our family is taking the time to truly think about what works for us as a family….as individuals…as a couple.  We do have some special days, hours, and activities together when we stop to think about them.   When we take time to be thankful for those times and more aware of their value, we engage them more often.  Once we used to go ice skating as a family 2 maybe 3 times a year, now we know that is something we all enjoy, so its planned once every 4-5 weeks as family night in our local rink. We’re not serious about skating, but its a family friendly fun time for our teens and their friends and about every 6 weeks there is a family night at the rink that makes it affordable to take a passel of kids with us. Close doesn’t have to mean expensive, it just means together.

 

 

 

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Sunday Mornings

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In our home Sunday is a day of worship and rest.  My guys would tell you this morning that a tree stand or somewhere in a hunting stance, is definitely keeping in line with that concept.  Today is the second day of deer season in Alabama and I know that bottom line, they’d both like to be out in the woods. When we are out at a cabin, or visiting our family in a more rural area where you can do both, they surely do…  Worship is not a place for me in the physical term, its a place of personal engagement.  Sunday morning my husband Les engages in service, the love language our children speak, to make them a fabulous breakfast of their favorites.  We gather as the family and then load up for our time with other Christians in worshiping God.

There has been a good amount of discussion lately about the lack of worship, of hearts reaching to God in awe and thankfulness for all that He is.  I know my own perspective has been focused on much more than what matters the past few weeks.  There are days I am simply thankful I am not God, can you imagine the continual images of hurt, need, pain, and denial he must deal with?

My favorite way to worship is in song. It seems to me music allows me to lose myself in praise of God. when I am singing client work disappears, Mt Washmore dissolves, what to cook for dinner simply doesn’t live in my heard…Whether it is playing the notes or adding an instrument to other more gifted musicians, or supporting a truly gifted voice with background singing, for me the act of creating voice to worship is a place that is between God and I.  Teaching and sharing studies allows me to dig deeper to learn more ways to express God’s love and plan for us with others. I am always the one who receives the most of that preparation I am sure, but it is such a place my heart grows.  During the week I like to focus on worshipping by traditional means such as Bible studies and lecture, but also focus on reminding myself and being aware that our true worship is in living God’s love in our lives as leaders, servants, and workers for the hearts before us…to be present where we are, doing what we can, with who God puts before us….including ourselves.

How do you spend your Sundays?

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