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Happy Mother’s Day

May 13, 2012 in A Simple Joy, Living Your Values with 0 Comments

This day I am thankful for so many women who have “mothered” me along my paths.  My mother, Anne Geddie Nunnally, left us over seven years ago, but she touched many young people’s lives as the counselor at the high school and a Sunday school teacher for over forty years. Mothering has so much more to do with choosing to love the hearts that are before you than whether or not you birthed that year.  Many people have birthed in me ideas, skills, and teachings simply because they chose to engage, empower and enlarge my thinking.  Mother’s Day is such a difficult day for  many, brokenness, sorrow, estrangement and distance often make the day more difficult. Can’t we today take the time to reach out to those we love and are thankful for and let them know they mattered? Aunts, friends, childhood neighbors, teachers, elders as well as our mothers and let them know through texts, calls, emails, notes, Skype, YouTube or a simple visit …that they matter to us!

Moments & Memories…

December 31, 2011 in A Simple Joy, Leading, Life Lessons with 1 Comment

The past few months a stage was set to experience learning while flying. Perhaps you’ve had the same moments, that moment of realizing that you are living your moment, being what you are capable of being, and having a meaningful glimpse of what you have worked hard to achieve.

  • Skills were yours to engage, the burden and years preparing were not for naught
  • Moments to remember came like gang busters or waves of perpetual tides
  • Joy was present in every moment of the reason you were engaging

Then you realized, it wasn’t the opportunity that was present and changed your vision, it was that you changed your opportunity.

We choose our lives.  We follow our hearts and inner callings of the Holy Spirit, or we choose to blindly lead ourselves to a place that we rarely should go.

There is a season for each part of our lives….and in my best life, there is respect, diligence, rigor, loyalty, steadfastness, good stewardship, boundaries,  love, and joy in each of them.

In reflecting the last three months, I learned many experiential lessons:

  1. Without adequate advance preparation and peaceful engagement of working together, there is little to gain in pushing forward with new territories, projects, or people….you can have the right skills, but without a thorough understanding of the needs, priorities will not happen.
  2. Relationships take time, trust is not always returned even when given….not every friendly person is friendly, not every harsh one is harsh
  3. Strategy comes in many forms…but the ones I prefer to focus on is always a win/win/win scenario for all- no exceptions.
  4. It is God’s love through our hands that makes the difference, all humans are imperfect, but His love matters.
  5. Regardless of their  passion, purpose, and precedence….trust is established slowly…be cautious in whom you blindly trust
  6. Success will be just as difficult as starvation if you do not identify what it looks like and how to handle it
  7. It’s more important to be who you are, even if they don’t get who you are…help is help if it isn’t asked for…remember your gifts may not be welcome.
  8. When others don’t choose to share your vision, methods, or excitement…it doesn’t affirm its correctness or wrongness, but only their/your experience
  9. God puts amazing people directly in front of you if you’ll simply allow Him to be in charge
  10. Preparation is respected in God’s order…but the order of God first matters more than any preparation you believed mattered.

This quarter, the last one of 2011, has been a meaningful time. 2011 was a year filled with amazing experiences both personally and professionally. I am thankful to have lived through and engaged the life it taught me.  God is God and in short…I am not…but I see his Glory through the work of others and its an amazing view…and every now and then…for a brief moment..I get to be a part of His plan and become aware of how amazing the intricate details were that laced us all together.

What a joy!!!!

What have you learned this year?

Becoming Closer…

November 16, 2011 in A Joyful Place Called Home, A Simple Joy, Growing Into Lovely with 2 Comments

Do you know your spouse or children’s love language? Can you name five ways that he/she feels loved by you?  Les teases me about asking questions. Often when we’re in the car I’ll ask the children or Les “What is the #1 thing that makes you feel loved” and listen.  You’ll be amazed at what comes out of their mouths. My son in about fourth grade said “clean socks in my drawer”~ because of my absolutely horrid performance on laundry I knew the poor child had not felt loved consistently his whole life at that point.  Very few of us are encouraged to think about what does bring us pleasure, warmth or joy.  Take a moment, right now, and think, what would make today fabulous for you.  A few of you would say Disney world, or a cabin in the mountain, but a whole lot more of us would think of simply things that we can absolutely do.  Why don’t we? I used to order a certain breakfast item on the road, then realized one day “Why don’t I do this at home?” and the only reason was I’d never thought to treat me with it at home…silly… a $2 item that made my mornings go much more smoothly. We often play take away with our own lives for no apparent reason, why not give to yourself and give to those you love when you can?

When I think about what Les loves it allows me to bring comfort and support to his world.  I know that one of the things he loves best is that I am glad to see him when he arrives home. This is an easy gift, but I am simply thrilled when he comes home. I love to plan to be near the door or available to spend 10-15 minutes with him as he shares his day.  I also know that right after that he’s got things on his agenda to do for a while, so it’s a good time to finish dinner, a project, or simply go relax on my own.  Our family agrees upon one thing, family dinner is their native dialect of love language….if you want my family to show up all you have to do is mention dinner….I have to laugh, for we can be in the middle of a difficult hour when the dinner hour arrives and suddenly for that half hour the peace talks begin and cease fires are in place….oh that we could work on our government learning that feat…

 

Les knows that I don’t enjoy pumping gas any more, after an eye injury the fumes now burn when I am anywhere near them, so he keeps my CRV fueled for me when possible.  He also fuels our teens cars from time to time, because Dad giving teens gas money is rare and even more fun is when you wake up to a full tank as a love gift from dad.

Ask, listen, engage….three easy steps to truly becoming close as a couple or family.  I ask.  What do you like best when we’re home? When do you truly relax?  Where is the best place for you to have a great day? What gives you comfort when you’re at school? How could Mom support you having a great day today.  Sometimes simply the answers allow me to understand where they are coming from, sometimes they educate me as to what stresses the children or Les or facing.  Other times I learn the value of what is already in place in our lives and what that means to them.

Listen.  Depending on the day, the hour, or the mood you may get a sour answer.  You might get a sarcastic answer if they think you’re not sincere about what they want or need.  If you’re not willing to allow others to be safe in the sharing of their heart, then you’re not going to make progress in becoming closer.  Defending  your stance doesn’t work either.  Listening means just that, to listen without judgement and engage what is said before answering.  Not everyone articulates their thoughts or their feelings. Sometimes I have to ask if something is true to get to that space.  “Is it irritating to you when I _______, because I’m beginning to think so because__________” and then get quiet.  Listen and listen without defending yourself.

Relationships take effort. Engaging people where they are and loving them as they are is key.  Too often as adults we’re in the habit of goal setting, production line thinking, or getting to some place or point….but family is about simply being. It’s about celebrating the moments together and sharing the space of the good and difficult. It’s about being there for one another when things go sour.  It’s about preventing things going sour when you can by supporting each other as we grow.  As we go into the holidays we’ve asked what is important to the teens and to each other. We’ve let go of some activities that no one truly enjoyed and worked on holiday time and activities that we will all engage and enjoy.  Becoming closer doesn’t have to look like a Hallmark moment, or even take the work of a Thanksgiving dinner, it might look a lot like exactly where you are, with more awareness of why you do what you do and letting go of what doesn’t work for any of you.

Part of what works for our family is taking the time to truly think about what works for us as a family….as individuals…as a couple.  We do have some special days, hours, and activities together when we stop to think about them.   When we take time to be thankful for those times and more aware of their value, we engage them more often.  Once we used to go ice skating as a family 2 maybe 3 times a year, now we know that is something we all enjoy, so its planned once every 4-5 weeks as family night in our local rink. We’re not serious about skating, but its a family friendly fun time for our teens and their friends and about every 6 weeks there is a family night at the rink that makes it affordable to take a passel of kids with us. Close doesn’t have to mean expensive, it just means together.

 

 

 

A Joyful Place

April 5, 2011 in A Simple Joy, She's So There with 0 Comments

This house takes me to a different place. A place that I dream of having, a place I know from childhood. Les and I have a shared dream, to create this place, a simple home in a pretty setting where we can share and teach with others and find a life that supports what we appreciate.
This last Sunday we saw this place for the first time in a 3D version…The house set from the road, the pond, the winding drive, and we glimpsed home….or the home of our long held dream….and it affirmed in real life that we hope our dreams come true sooner than later…
Isn’t it interesting how sometimes less than ten miles from where you are, is another life waiting to be found.

Sunday mornings

February 13, 2011 in A Simple Joy, She's So There with 2 Comments

  Sunday mornings are a special time for our family.  Les, my husband wakes and cooks breakfast for all of us.  He carefully takes the time to listen to each child and cooks their choice “just so” as a special for each of them.  I am afforded the luxury of reading the paper and showering in peace without hurry as he takes care of all breakfast chores.  I’m sure it is not that he loves preparing breakfast for us all, but that he has chosen to do a lovely thing for us.  Les knows that speaking each of our love languages is important.  He understands that my love language is presence, so he talks to me while he prepares breakfast. Our older children’s language is service, so he makes their choice just so and delivers the plate to where they gather that morning. Even our small black and white fluffs receive special breakfasts on Sundays….a fried egg each in their food bowl.
  I cherish Sunday mornings. We take life a bit slower, we slow down time for just an hour or two before church and leave together to worship God for His bountiful blessings….and each week the blessing I most thankful for is this family of mine….
especially Les.

Smiles…

December 28, 2010 in A Simple Joy, She's So There with 0 Comments

   I tend to be a smiler by nature.  Actually probably more by the example of  my mother Anne or her  mother Ruth.  The women in my family fervently believed that happiness is a choice, and the correct one to be made.  As I spent the holiday in Alabama I noticed over and over again how many people were not smiling.  My pollyanna side isn’t so silly to not know that times are hard right now, but I believe personally when we lose our joy, its a much bigger tragedy than any other one we face.
  This morning I am smiling as I look outside the deck and watch the silly labs playing in the ice.  They spend all their early morning time fussing over the food bowls. Mind you each of the three bowls is exactly the same with the same food in it, but in their perspective, each of the other two seem better than the one they have.
 Aren’t we that way?  Instead of enjoying what God has put before us, regardless, we too often spend time wishing for someone else’s whatever it is. Today I am home alone, a quiet morning while the children are still away.  It would be easy to spend my time wishing for something else, but instead I believe I will enjoy focusing on what is before me…a warm home, dogs playing in the yard, food in the fridge, a chance to enjoy my favorite fella on Skype without interruption.
…alot to smile about.

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