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Finding Enough

April 15, 2012 in Basics Matter, Life Lessons, Making It Mine with 2 Comments

The last few weeks I have been traveling all over the United States working with clients. The role of a hybrid strategist is something akin to Nanny McPhee, The Boss, and Mary Poppins all rolled into one. I work with individuals who lead successful lives and businesses. My role is to make those lives and businesses work as smoothly as possible whether it is figuring out supportive systems at the house, or strategic systems in branding and business.

The common theme all clients and our own home face is finding enough.

You cannot live where you haven’t found home. Perhaps success to you is gathering for dinner those you love, having enough money in the bank to choose the food you eat without thought, or a certain number in savings. Life has a funny way of trying to tell you that where ever you are, it is not there yet, that you are not enough.

I beg to differ.

The source of many individuals’ unhappiness is that they are striving for an unknown end. “Enough.” Les and I have faced this giant and we have refaced it several times. You see, for us, enough has a definition now. It is based in knowing that the only day you can truly count on is the one you are living this moment. Enough is what is before you in the next few hours before you sleep…without borrowing the issues of tomorrow and next year or decade. Pragmatically we’re into being good stewards of our resources, but tomorrow is tomorrow, and cannot take over today’s significance in our lives.

Finding enough is very personal. What comforts and gives my soul peace may not be what you were built to know or do. God may have instilled within your heart a very different purpose and therefore a very different “enough.” My enoughs involve a personal peace with my surroundings and relationships, it involves knowing and acting as though people are more important than things. It means that money is a tool, not proof of importance or significance. It means that at the end of the day I’d prefer people over things. Finding enough is a journey each heart mst take for itself. It cannot be defined for you. You must find it on your own.

What are the moments you have found enough? A few of mine are the moments I hold a child close as they sleep in my arms. Choosing to be fully present at a friend’s time of need, such as when their parent dies and someone is needed to simply clean the kitchen and be present. To know that a need was met for a family struggling, when pizza was a glorious meal for date night at home so someone else could eat in theirs. It’s knowing that taking the time for kindness is never wasted.

What are your “enoughs?”Have you thought of your world in that way lately?

Enabling vs Empowering

February 15, 2012 in Basics Matter, Growing Into Lovely, Making It Mine, She's So There, Sweetie As Strategist with 4 Comments

As I work with bright folks in business and in projects that engage their brilliance, I find a continuing theme that must be dealt with as a boundary in life: enabling versus empowering behaviors. In the classroom, when I was a teacher, the difference was very clear to me. An enabler allowed an objective to be met without expectation or regard to whether or not the one receiving the met objective needed to be independent in that function to grow. An empowering person assisted the learner in learning, perhaps provided shadowing, support, or at first a hand to follow as a new skill was attempted, but very quickly had the joy of seeing the learner independently do the action required to grow. The objective was for independent success that was self driven.

Which person are you in the lives of others?

Learning is a natural part of who we are. Some of us tell ourselves that we cannot learn this or that, we become convinced by our own words and experiences that this or that is easier to learn or we’re just not good at something else. As an educator I am more likely to say “bah humbug” to those statements. Learning to learn is simply that. We all must figure out how it is that we acquire new knowledge and skills sets best. Personally if you give me a verbal set of directions, you can pretty much be assured I’ll be coming round the mountain multiple times and I may even think the scenery is new the first five times. Meanwhile, if I read or write the same directives when given, I’ll most likely only round that mountain two times and I’ll get it on the third. We all have modalities of learning that we learn more easily through, do you know yours?

If you have to tell me the directions every time I need to go somewhere, will it not be a long life if I don’t learn to do it myself independently after a trip or two? As the saying goes, doing such a thing will not only annoy the bear you’re trying to teach to dance, but the bear may not only be annoyed, you’ll be annoyed with the bear. All of us appreciate assistance, but none of us prefer to have to assist when the person being helped/taught/enabled has the ability to do for themselves what they seek others to do for them. In the country where I am from, not handling responsibilities of your own is called laziness or disrespectful behavior. Sometimes its manipulative, other times its simply poor habits that folks have taught themselves, that repeat often in their lives under a bigger theme of lessons unlearned like how to live in integrity.

We all prefer to engage people who “get” the learning regardless of the area of life. We all prefer to work with others who value and respect our time, efforts, assets and their own.

Have you considered stopping the sharing, telling, teaching, and training of your friend/client/child and look past where you are with them. What are you consistently doing over and over again with them? What mountain are they rounding as though lost, or unaware that there is a way out of it? Is it over spending? Is it lack of preparation for an event? Is it anger management? is it personal/professional skills in speaking? When we identify what skill or experience is missing we can more likely empower someone to identify or become aware of the learning needed and take appropriate steps.

In the classroom, an effective instructor pre qualifies where the lesson begins. How many times are we attempting to empower someone from a positional experience they are simply not ready for? Are you careful to gauge whether or not you are assisting in personal/professional growth or facilitating success in a way that is not repeatable for the person in front of you. The questions I consider in my work with learners when they are seeking assistance are:

What is the objective that is being identified as the goal/success/action to be completed?
Is there a known system of steps to create that objective?
Does the person/company have in place a breakdown of processes to achieve that goal?
Where in the process is the system slowing/disconnecting/self destructing
What skill sets are required to facilitate the processes of the system
If the processes and system skill sets seem to be in place, have I walked through the entire group with them as though I am the client/customer/sales target or event being experienced?
Is an appropriate level of value being placed on each component of their system/process?
Is the system/objective appropriate to the current concern, objective, or on-going success?
What can be purchased/hired out/facilitated while skills are being acquired, or bartered as new skills needed are identified and obtained?
Is an appropriate amount of time being allowed and is there a check for understanding component to the learning as well as an understanding of how long each skill set should take to be obtained?
Are learning styles/modalities being considered before choosing training/software/purchased education or assistance?
At the end of the newly learned process and practice will the objectives for independent implementation be profitable or is this a task that simply has to be allowed to be done by an area expert, serviceman, or facilitator (is this too expensive for that person to learn to do in times of money, time spent, and value for labor extended) Will the time invested be appropriate for the role the person performs in their position?

Systems management is important in our lives. Systems management in an entrepreneur’s life is essential for survival. So often as we begin, our friends, cohorts, and mentors may assist us with their experience and knowledge to know how to begin or to assist with skill they can barter or freely give to us to assist us. It is my experience though, that even when gifting experience or skills, without further educating the receiver of the value of the time/energy/gift received, the effort becomes enabling, not empowering to the receiver

When we enable others we take away their power to own their success. When we enable others our own ability to engage excellence is hindered by the conflict of alignments of helping versus hindering. Integrity demands that alignment of purpose, procedure and products in our lives happen. Without the alignment of our actions and objectives, frustration is created, and relationships are strained.

Are you a mentor? parent? friend? coach? Are you empowering others to be all they can be or are you enabling them to manipulate, depend upon, or continue self taught bad behaviors that are in the long run not only bad for the bear, but for you too?

We are all teachers and we are all learners. The real question becomes what is it we are teaching and what are we learning ourselves? What are we preventing others from learning? When we choose to engage in others lives are we enabling or empowering them? What are our motives in the interaction? Leaders empower the people they engage. What are you experiencing in your walk with others?

Are You Unplugged?

January 18, 2012 in Basics Matter, Growing Into Lovely, Making It Mine, She's So There with 4 Comments

While I was traveling I came upon a moment when I asked Sarah L Cook to come see why my blow dryer wasn’t working. I am all but non-visual in the mornings, a bilateral eye issue continues to make mornings creative when I travel. If I misplace my glasses I can’t even see well enough to find them. I had tried turning on my own blowdryer, I had tried the hotel blow dryer first, nothing was turning on. Sarah graciously agreed to come see what she could see…she had smartly asked…”Did you push the reset on the fuse?” I shared that I wasn’t sure what that looked like, so she came over and this is what she saw…the dryers were not plugged in. I had failed to do the most important part of using a blow dryer….I had failed to plug either in to the source that runs them. In my defense, most blow dryers I use in hotels are already hard wired at the hotel brand I frequent. …it hadn’t occurred to me that the dryer was waiting on me.

What are you not plugging in? What resources do you have right in front of you ready to work if you simply plugged in? When will you take time to return to the basics of what’s not working in your life? Basics matter….our lives do not work as well if we do not seek God’s plan for our lives…even when His plans don’t make sense…ask me how I know…

Part of my “owning my life” stuff is realizing that I am too often trying to run my life without plugging into God first that day. My intention is to always seek God first, but darn it I regularly find myself taking management liberties with His plan for my life. Can you relate? Then when I am weary, frustrated, and knowing something is just not right….I realize that I’ve neglected to plug in for God’s resources into my life….peace, joy, wisdom, direction, and love. God is God and the short of it is I am not.

Ouch.

What areas of your life are you unplugged? How are you seeking to “own your life”? Are you walking in integrity with yourself? I wasn’t. I would say “I’d like to lose weight” and while my friends would suggest that it wasn’t how much I ate, but perhaps what I ate….that maybe, just maybe wheat and other things were part of the problem. Nonsense I said, I’ve eaten it for ages…then a month came up that I was willing to go without wheat for 30 days…31 pounds later and a WHOLE lotta better health. Because I am a Thomas, I did eat wheat again and when I did, I could immediately sense “danger Will Robinson…I was swelling.” Who knew? Wheat sensitive? When we get so used to what it is our experience, we forget that our experience may be in no way shape or form what THE experience that was intended can be….ever tried blow drying your hair without electricity….waving your hands back and forth in no way makes the same effect happen as a plugged in blow dryer. So is our life…without God it simply isn’t the same…

Are you unplugged?

Are you Ready to Win?

January 17, 2012 in Growing Into Lovely, Living Your Values, Making It Mine with 4 Comments

Winning has a connotation for every one….for many it means a first prize or blue ribbon and the knowledge that they were indeed the best at whatever it is the race was about…popularity, speed, control, earnings….The kind of things we really take for granted are more often the things often overlooked that matter for the real wins….the courage to be who you are created to be…to stand up for what is right, the transparency to own your mistakes, the integrity to live in peace with others and with yourself.

Stephen Covey says the 5 emotional cancers are: criticizing, complaining, comparing, competing, and a spirit of contention present in your daily life. I so agree. We all seem to have drank the kool-aid that more is more…and as Allyson Lewis so eloquently put it in her book, The 7 Minute Solution, she came to a place where she wanted MORE, not more…MORE meaning MORE service, MORE family MORE joy, MORE of a life she actually wanted to live.

Amen.

As I have traveled on the road the last few weeks with clients on book tours, conferences, and launches, it has been an unusual time of busy reflection. I speak to strangers, to folks I work with, and to anyone who remotely captures my heart and/or interest all.the.time. I love people. What has captured my attention is the overwhelming repeating story that no matter where I am, what role I am being that moment, people are seeking peace and acceptance. People want peace in their lives again, purpose, and a sense that their lives have value past their daily existence. Individuals are looking for a better life. That life isn’t defined in wealth, but in meaningful experiences and the peace and joy that has left their buildings, neighborhoods, and hearts.

One of the joys of my journeys lately has been to witness the power of human interaction with divine empowerment. God showing up in the perfect moments looking alot like ordinary humans being obedient. Mothers praying for their children, folks with illness ministering to those who have no physical illness, but emotionally are much weaker than the physically ill one in front of them. In a prayer room in Dallas yesterday I heard a wise woman tell the person who had sought prayer that she needed to rest in God and allow laughter back in her life. Seemingly simply…yet oh so powerful…God doesn’t tell us to work all of the time, focus on toil and troubles, nor that we are not enough…no..God tells us to rest in Him, to let Him carry our burdens of anger, resentment, pain, and shame…to allow Him to be responsible for our worries, to release them to Him …for He will meet our needs, not us…if we simply trust Him and are obedient to the life he has for us….

God says in Him everything is possible…

My marriage and family is proof of God’s restoration. In a family who hadn’t experienced ANYONE’s marriage crumbling in the close relatives there I was twice divorced, unhappy, and I did not even get into the motherhood business until I was thirty….yet God restored my broken heart. In the most unusual way of showing up, Les Berry was and is the answer to many nights lament that God would heal my broken heart and allow a do over… happy marriage…and four children and step teens and adults call me Mom..and over twenty more have known me as Mom for a season of their lives…God is good….and he is truthful in what He will do when we choose to trust His word…

For those who know me you can say an “amen” (now let’s not shout too loudly) but somethings you have to experience to understand. I.am.a.high.energy.hot.mess. I love creating, and supporting creative projects that empower people. The joy of working on projects that reach, teach, and touch people’s lives have created a vertical learning curve for many years for me….whether it was publishing, filming, social media, or strategy….I simply love to learn skills that support living your personal and professional purpose in life.. It has been one of the surprizes of my life that God had a plan for that too….well after all, He is God…but can he really handle a hot mess like me? (perhaps proof again, that He IS God) Winning to me means running my own race, to live a life of obedience to whatever it is that God brings into my life. To work through the training of mind, body, and spirit until His will is done in my life….

a tough race to be sure….but the joy of this journey is peace….not ease…peace that means even on the hardest emotionally punched day, that God is present. That when flesh rips and emotions rage because of something fleshy, God is there…if I will allow Him to be. Winning the race daily means coming to God first…then laying HIS plans straight, not your own…such an easy concept, such a hard course for most of us to lay down our control….

What are you ready to win? Fame? Fortune? Finesse? Or are you seeking to win the favor of God in all that you do? Win the abundance of God in every moment of your life? Win the power and strength of God in your every day existence? It’s real…and its promised to us if we simply do the seemingly impossible….surrender the race to Him….and let Him redesign the course you are running until like Eric Liddell, you feel God’s pleasure when you run…..

God has set my race….and I can tell you…I don’t know the course, I’m not sure of the distance, I feel inadequate to even line up….but his race I am running….and though I may stumble ….the race is God’s….for I am ready to win peace, joy, abundance, provision, purpose, and the wealth of a life spent using God’s gifts for others…working through the “stuff” that I so need to shed, allowing His love to complete the work He began in me….tough stuff…real stuff…but worthwhile because in the long run, running God’s race for my life is all that truly matters…His approval the only one that counts…

and I’m finally ready to give up whatever it takes….and the list so far has been long, hard, and my fingers are tired from trying to hold on to silly things in my life I was never intended to hold….but God is God and I am not….and so the race begins…..two by four thwack lessons included for my hard head….for it seems I don’t learn by simple reminders….it takes a thwack regularly to get my attention…and it turns out that I’m not very into those 2×4 thwacks…so I will listen more intently, accept more readily, and learn more completely that which God has set before me to do….

Anyone ready to join me for THAT race?

Different is doable…

December 23, 2011 in Basics Matter, Life Lessons, Making It Mine with 19 Comments

Have you ever entered the space where your picture of what life is supposed to be like is so far past where you can be at that moment that it seems impossible. Maybe you’ve said too many yes’s maybe you’ve spent too much on Christmas. Perhaps you just ignored making a choice until the choice was made by avoidance of choices. Maybe your intentions were for an amazing gathering but your organization made soup and sandwiches happen that time.

Not making a conscious choice is a choice too. God honors preparation, though its never been my experience that He actually lets you do YOUR plan….but never the less He honors the thought…. and then the show begins…it turns out we don’t have to be God in our lives…we just have to allow Him to be our lives to be filled with Him.

We sometimes picture the American family as one who gathers round the tree and sings carols. Of course the house is clean, of course the family is happy each moment. Who would dream it any other way? But teens have lives of their own, parents and friends face life issues that are often less than romantic. We so want to be who we are, but we simply paint the picture with such perfection that we cannot find our way through the mask of hiding. What are you hiding from in your life? Is it personal appearance? The lack of connection in a marriage or with an extended family member? Is it the best of the best of what you wish you could do but are afraid to do?

Different is doable…but you have to begin where you are.

The first step of any new space in my life has always been to define where it is that I am. The last few years I have more or less been apprenticing new skills in media and instructional leadership development because I value the power of preparing speakers, teachers & speaking 1:1 thousands at a time via streaming internet and distance education. As an educator, a teacher of teachers, it was thrilling to me when this technology arrived in Arkansas so many years ago. It was one of the most efficient ways to cultivate state-wide projects in education and to connect educators. Twitter is now my preferred method, for in listening carefully I can find who is talking about the topics I am passionate about. My friendships from the Twitter as my friend calls it, are real, have transitioned from virtual on Skype to 3D form at conferences at on trips. It has allowed me to find my tribe, as Seth Godin would define it. A group of people I get…”sawbu” as Lolly would say and they see me. Breathtaking energy.

Right now, as I sit early on a Christmas eve’s eve, I am aware that life changed 23 days ago. A time of preparation bore fruit and I recognized that every.single.goal we set for a project for a client came together when we realized the impossible was done but it was based in doing it differently in a doable way. The traditional odds were against us, the clock was ticking, the joy of the experience gone. It was simply time to define the moment and to make the moment defined. Different is doable. You’ve seen me on Twitter most likely cheerleading a project I am so very excited about. Allyson’s Lewis, the author of The 7 Minute Solution. The book has direct methodology to use tracking and goal setting to support your MORE life…more fun, more awareness, more inspiration, more faith, etc. The seven areas of life are managed in a format that I truly “get” and it’s gotten into me.

In less than 3 days after reading the advanced copy of the book, my perspective shifted. Les and I are facing some serious changes in our world in his position and my own. It’s been a wildly successful year in a way that was unexpected. I have had the privilege of seeing clients labors bear fruits and the tragedies of clients whom I believed in choose to find another path when success could have been theirs.

I work with entrepreneurs, start ups, speakers and authors, and one thing is common across the board. To engage in excellence, you have to begin where you are and make doable differences and work your way up. It is disheartening to me when a speaker, author, or business self destructs and tears down those in their paths. My nature is to educate, support, and empower people with anything I can do to engage them in success, but there is many things a strategist cannot do for a client. They cannot keep them from choosing a different path than one that leads to a healthy, balanced succees.

Different is doable, ask any successful athelete, underprivileged leader, broken and restored speaker, or someone coming back with a winning attitude. It may not be easy, it may not be welcome, but different is doable. We most often sidetrack ourselves from success, its an old story: greed, hurt, pain, arrogance, or unkindness sets us on the sidelines…obedience, even when peppered with mistakes, God honors. After all, David was a man after God’s own heart. Abraham messed up too and spent time in silence while he figured it out. The Biblical stories all play the roles from a place of imperfection without Christ.

Heroes are every day people to me. They’ve managed to make a choice to be who they are. A.Choice. Over and over again they face the same life we do, but they do it with resolve to be who they intend to be. Some of those heroes in my life are:

Thom Whitby- Extraordinary Educator, who developed the PLN Professional Learning Network, a community of educators collaborating online. #PLN
Allyson Lewis-Time & Lifestyle Strategist, who developed The 7 Minute LIfe System and authored books that directly support my style of productivity #just7 (they are giving away a NOOK to online purchases through B&N on December 27th…wheee!)
Allan Branch- Who each month delights my heart though we are not close, because each time he writes, I learn,…regardless of the topic #lessconf LOVE his Less Accounting for my business!
Jesse Lamb- An amazing mind and heart who simply excels, and showed me that the right pond makes all the difference and was brave enough to face the change of ponds from attorney to creative. My personal tech hero…and friend.
Sarah L Cook- Author of Raising CEO Kids, so smart she squeaks if you take on organizational structure management….an amazing heart too #SWS Systems with Sarah!
Rachael Anne Ridge- HomeSanctuary.com, author and far away friend who helps others take small steps to find sanctuary at home each day
Melinda Emerson- Who dreamed it, did it, let me walk along side her and continues to grow in educating how to end Small Business failure…. amen! #SmallBizChat @SmallBizLady (I’m Lead Strategist on that team!)
Miss Bobbie Smith- Who faced all odds, including starting over in her 30′s, put herself through college, has become a speaker, leader, and creative as she graduates college this spring, an amazing force of fireball energy and brains. @TheMissBobbie
Irene Bullock- a friend who not only lost her husband at a young age, but went on to raise her children and others in such a way that we are all amazed and blessed by her presence in our lives. She has given me the gift of hope and support throughout the journey to be who I am becoming
The TCK Team- Who are simply the BEST at supporting and engaging the needs of special needs kids and their parents and professionals. Truly an amazing group @TheCoffeeKlatch #TCK
Heather Hetchler- Cafe Smom, who like myself, believes in a joyful place called home….even differently. Creating support structures and materials for mothers and stepmothers (S’moms) everywehre. ~Brilliant! @CafeSMom
Wayne McEvilly- Who simply makes my world a happier place for what he shares with audiences of all ages in conversation, voice in writing and in performing. What a tremendous joy to know of his existence.
Jason T Bedell- who loves his family and passion for technology in education in ways I have first hand experienced. His vision was simply to begin TeachMeet Nashville and it made a difference in my life. #Thankyou @JasontBedell
Kate T Lewis- The Civilized Minute author, whom I have yet to hug her neck in person, but who in less than a year has captured my heart and joy in a way I cannot explain through her writing, Skypes and joyful country spirit. @KateTLewis.
Sohan Singh Who taught me how to laugh again. An amazing spirit who simply loves to learn and has given me perspective of why the right team matters, and how to fly without eyes even in the dark of the difficult there is light in laughter. @SohanWins
Cybraryman1 A lifelong educator and one whom I trust and cheer on from any court he appears….an educator whose passion is to share amazing resources for educators andparents. @Cybraryman1 Jerry Blumengarten (and his wife quilts!)
#LessChicks The valiant technology ladies who are clucking Brilliance….I .love. these .women. #LessConfChicks #LessConf
Gail Hyatt Who grows me every.time. I read her blog or hug her neck on the way by in Nashville. Real. Responsible. Intentional. Fun. Excellence in motherhood and personhood….I.simply.value.her. @GailHyatt
Kelby Carr who taught me a hole in one lesson at Type A Family Conf when she, in the middle of the wild, did what mattered, supported her family in a calm and amazing way as she led the amazing experience. Kelby is not someone I know well, but I sure intend to. @KelbyCarr
Sarah Mae Blogs- Creator of Relevant Conference, a blog conference for Christian bloggers….again, never have met in person, but oh so cheering her on from here. She.is.doing.it. Changing lives, educating hearts, and sharing the journey. @SarahMaeBlogs
Allison Worthington who invited me into her home and heart (and has the most fab green toile loveseat) and who has taken up residence in mine even when we work and live in different worlds…I’m a full time fan and supporter of anyone who makes the world smile and aware in her smart sassy way. @AlliWorthington #Blissdom
Rick Dean, who inspires me with his win/win/win scenarios in business and in arts…@DeanofMusic…he’s one to watch and has the happiest Christmas this year ever….your friendship to Les and I rocks!
David Bullock..who is a friend at many levels, always there in a storm. He literally talked me through the Alabama tornadoes when I was alone in the level 5 place with no one to tell me what was happening and no where to get to safety. His presence is trustworthy in any storm and he shows me that storms simply help you define what’s important. @DavidBullock
David Cooper` who has for over 38 years mentored entrepreneurs, authors, and speakers and has the gifts and abilities to help them fly on all planes of success. He has given to my life so many gifts of encouragement and empowerment through educating me at the level I can play. He is loved like non other because the truth is, he isn’t selling soft sales, he’s softly selling truths. @AskDavidCooper
Thelma Wells @ThelmaW who is often known as MamaT….a wordsmith extraordinaire and one who has captured my heart for life. Her words feed my soul and her ever giving heart not only gives me the courage to do this, but her books are a continue read or listen to in my life…what a blessing she and Vikki are in my life.
The Chatty Momma Tonia Sanders, who has given me the gift of joy in every situation we’ve worked together whether over lunch or in person. Family comes first &Tonia rawks! @TheChattyMomma (one of my favorite people of all time, a forever friend who has the gift of connecting with hearts of all ages)
Lisa Leonard, again, from afar, but her inspiration for her business, her personal and professional growth are as beautiful as her spirit. AMAZING (just love cheering and praying Lisa on…if ever I could be a cheerleader and prayer warrior, this is one heart I invest with pompoms shaking high!)
Karen Rabbitt who forever changed my world with a book. Trading Fathers. She identified that which I could not. Her wisdom and work on forgiveness is amazing @KarenRabbitt www.tradingfathers.com
Lucy Ann Moll- @LucyAnnMoll, author, Christian counselor to hurting women and the women who lead them. Great friend, amazing spirit. Lucy is someone I truly am in awe of, her heart, her leadership and her transparency is beautiful.
Peldi @Peldi Who in one speech, forever changed my life at Less Conference and I will forever thank him for that moment. Entrepreneur extraordinaire, his speech at Less Conference in 2009 simply changed my world forever…his continued kindness to me a gift as he inspired our daughter to be who she is…what a joy to witness his words blooming in her life.

There are so many more people to list but the jest is, no one had perfect lives, they made different doable. This moment in time is so poignant as I simply see that we can face anything if we begin where we are. Where are you? What is in your heart of hearts to do this moment of your life? What is step one?

A rural perspective…Why #RR Matters

December 13, 2011 in Basics Matter, Growing Into Lovely, Leading, Life Lessons, Living Your Values, Making It Mine, She's So There with 2 Comments

I am from the rural deep South and one of the things I value about my rural upbringing is that in my small hometown, people have life-long relationships. I am blessed by the presence of decades long friends…so when I say Reliable Resource #RR (Twitter hashtag) as a product, service, person, or event…I mean that I personally wouldn’t risk saying they are worthwhile out loud without serious first-hand knowledge. You see where I’m from the newcomer in town may have lived there forty years in the same house…so you have to live with a poor choice for a long time if you recommend the wrong introduction or without regard to caution, recommend something or someone. Integrity matters there with a capital “I.” After all the nearest variety stores were one hundred miles away and even the local gas station’s 3-aisle store, our version of the superstore, was over eleven miles to town. Some popular media companies have made what we’d say in the South – “The Dog and Pony Show” a multi-billion dollar industry and they are laughing all the way to the bank while many times, they are leading us to a poisoned water, as though we’re silly cows who will drink any koolaid offered. Have you tried to feed a cow something they recognize as not their flavor lately? They don’t drink it when they are aware you’re feeding them stuff we usually shovel out of the barn. In my neck of the woods the boots to the left are used daily to clean up after such things in a barn. As country folk, we learned to look where we put our foot or to move the hay covering before sitting. Things are not always what they seem. The warmth may look cozy, but it may be steaming for an entirely different reason. Folks need to know where solid values are supported, we like to say the folks to folks conversations on the front porch will make or break you in business and it’s absolutely true.

Today’s front porch is real time media, and thinking folks like @MichaelHyatt @PWilson, @USAA, @LollyDaskal @Allyson7Lewis, @LollyDaskal @Bill_Roddy, @Cybraryman1, @TomWhitby @Classroom2.0 @VistaPrint @SmallBizLady, @DeborahMersino @FSonnenberg @GailHyatt and so many many more are sharing important concepts and ideals. Others like @MackCollier, @KateTLewis and so many others share the skills they’ve learned in meaningful ways without expectation in the open forums except conversation. They know learning to learn matters, and they share what they’ve learned. They help bird-dog point us to things that need to be addressed as surely as my lab does, even if she has to bring the problem literally to my attention. I so value @AlliWorthington and her husband for that in their scoping what matters in legislation often. I appreciate that. I bet you do too. It helps to have leaders who identify important concepts, who empower us. Thank you. You don’t have to have a PR machine to speak what you know out into space, let’s use our voices to support integrity. Change is coming and “we need to be paying attention” as Mr. Bullock would say. You don’t have to agree, we just have to agree that it matters to discuss the important choices we’re making for our resources in leadership. I am not into politics, I don’t want to debate who is who, but I do care greatly that quality people, products, and processes are rewarded with our business, attention, and support.

So if you hear me say someone is a Reliable Resource or tweet #RR, you can bet that I have personally experienced or vouch for my dealings with that person. It’s not a made for TV version for marketing either…Les and I have built our family and business on the premise that we want to cultivate projects that empower people. I thank @JenniCatron for that reminder of my roots, her vision realized in CultivateHer. Jenni reminded me that cultivating ourselves means hard work, planting for a harvest in our own lives and our children’s. We are responsible to grow ourselves then each other in community. It was a foundational launch of a great early morning meeting, that reminded myself who I am and whose I am…a country girl from the rural South who believes in putting on her boots and working out the messy parts of brilliance. (by the way, I’m the mule pulling the plow, not the girl in the house watching the workers) Life is messy, but relationships in business, products, and services shouldn’t have to live there with intention.

<warning…Southern girl on her soapbox….lesson plan from the hard school of life>

Tune in! None of us has time, money, or life to waste, we only have one to live to the fullest of our intentions. If we all work on encouraging those who value integrity and start walking in integrity ourselves more consistently, we will support an environment for change. People like @SarahLCook and @RachelAnneRidge who have spent countless hours helping moms learn skills to support home. People like @LucyAnnMoll who minister to hurting, broken leaders of women…and the women they lead. People like Thelma Wells @ThelmaW who gives me personally the courage to face anything I face through her excellent writing. Folks like @TheCoffeeKlatch who help us find help. These folks matter. Supporting the protection of our youngsters hearts and heads, and engaging in excellence with even the smallest things that we do matters.

If we learn to give more than we receive, my guess is that like my rural neighbors, life will just be worth living. Big is not always better, small is not always an advantage. Weak is often truly strong. Where integrity, hard work, clarity of purpose, and pardon is asked for when mistakes are made, life can be engaging. When we engage in a good dose of thoughtful awareness of those around us, we can choose and support values that we’ll be glad to call our own. We’re not asking nor do we want ugly call outs, perfection, or painting difficult days to turn out swell, we’re simply asking for you to recognize #RR Reliable Resources when you know they have worked for you and let’s help make things happen for folks who work hard to do right things for right reasons. Produce exceptional products, or are have such rare gifts as artisans that one should recognize their value and quality.

My husband has served in many wars, he’s currently home for the first time for Christmas in many years. We.are.civilians. He chooses to serve our Department of Defense. It matters. There are places and people that need to be defended and there are reasons we need to stand our ground in the U.S. Despite the popular rhetoric, we still have an amazing country, and its time we took back our homes and our towns where values are concerned. Our home has decided, we’re firmly committed. Basics matter, and it’s time we simply begin to do what we know to do to refocus where our homes and communities are going.

Will you join us?